Wow. Remember that track by Salt-N-Pepa? “Let’s talk about sex, baby!” Yeah! It’s time to talk about SEX again!.

That sweetness you experience without your taste buds. Hmmmm! That sweetness must be really special and peculiar, right?

shot-of-a-young-couple-being-intimate-in-bed

Yeah, it is. It could only be God’s special design to make His creatures become helplessly and dependent on each other for relief, at some point in the relationship.

Imagine for once how dependent you are on your partner for relief; that moment you are about to cum. Oh, what a feeling you say!

So guys, now that we have let the cat out of the bag, by now you should have gotten the memo that some women fake are pro in the act of faking it. Yes, some women fake orgasm. But how do you, the man drill her hole to ensure she climax for real?

Spoiler alert! Before we get started, we need to burst a few myths. While you can technically ‘help’ a woman climax, it is not your sole responsibility to make her cum. So don’t overwhelm yourself with the task of mastering all of the secrets of the sexual universe.

There are many factors which can impact reaching orgasm, particularly for women.

According to Kalila Bolton, co-founder of sexual wellness hub, She Spot, “It’s not just about the type of stimulation but her mood, setting, time of day and stress levels can all have an effect.”

What that simply means is that if your partner reached orgasm from a specific position or stimulation in the past, it doesn’t necessarily means she will have it the exact same way.

A study from a team of US researchers suggests that a combination of genital stimulation, deep kissing and oral sex is the “golden trio” for women when it comes to increasing their likelihood of reaching orgasm with a sexual partner.

Young couple in bed

However there are other ways too. Have it in mind that what works for one woman might be uncomfortable for another, so while these steps may well help your partner to climax, don’t forget to check in with her, ask her questions about how she wants to be satisfied sexually.

Some other ways are:

*Foreplay: This is the warm-up phase for a female. It’s warm-up period that builds anticipation, encourages blood flow to her lady parts, and triggers natural lubrication.

Learn how to be better at foreplay.

Women are more likely to need a little encouragement before their body starts to respond, which means foreplay is a huge factor in delivering better orgasms and maybe even delivering orgasms at all.

**Try A Delay Spray To Last Longer:

Premature ejaculation issues can make it even harder to help her get over the threshold when you’ve already finished.

About one in three men experience premature ejaculation

If you consistently hit your climax point and the refractory period before she gets anywhere near the big bang, it may be wise to try a delay spray to help you last longer in bed.

***Get The Conversation Started And Keep On Talking:

Talking/Verbalizing about sex doesn’t come naturally for everyone, but the more you can talk, exchange ideas, and give guidance in the bedroom, the more equipped you both will be to please each other.

****Mind Your Exercise And Diet:

if you really want to give her a better orgasm, getting in shape and increasing your stamina can be a REALLY big deal.

*****Pick The Sexual Positions Most Apt To Encourage Orgasm:

If you’re shooting to make her orgasm in a certain way, taking advantage of certain positions can really help too.

At this juncture gentlemen, let sex be a thing your partner always look forward to. Enough of wham, bam, thank you ma’am! Kindaof sex.

Hello lovelies it’s been a long while. y’all have been on my mind though. 

Image of woman reaching orgasm

While I was away, I had an encounter with some wonderful ladies. One thing led to another and we got talking. Eventually we got talking about orgasm, of course it was after bantering between so many other topics

Emilia (not real name) raised the question about women and how sometimes we fake orgasm.

The ladies gave so many hilarious but honest reasons. But first what is an Orgasm?

Many people regard the orgasm as the peak of sexual excitement. It is a powerful feeling of physical pleasure and sensation. Aka cum or climax, it’s a sexual tension that increases until it reaches a peak, and pressure in your body and genitals is released.

An orgasm is what usually happens when you reach the height of sexual arousal. It usually feels really good. When you have an orgasm.

Both men and women pretend to have orgasms, and the practice of “faking” is fairly common. Research suggests that women are more likely to fake orgasm than men are.

If scientists want to study something, they first need a way to quantify it. And that’s why researchers just created the first scale that measures… why women are faking orgasms.

For example, a 2009 study published in the Journal of Sex Research reported that among a group of college students, 25% of the men and 50% of the women had pretended to reach orgasm. Among participants who had had vaginal intercourse, 28% of men and 67% of women said they faked orgasm.

Women often fake orgasm by making corresponding sounds, like moaning or gasping. They may breathe more quickly or move in ways that make their partner think they are climaxing.

Since men typically ejaculate when they reach orgasm, faking it may be more challenging. However, if a man wears a condom, he might be able to dispose of it before his partner realizes he hasn’t climaxed.

In some cases, women fake orgasms due to external or situational factors such as:

*Because she wants to make the sex stop: Men and women cite many reasons for faking orgasm. Sometimes, they just want the encounter to end, especially if they know they are not going to climax.

*Because she wants to make her partner feel good: often, people have their partner’s feelings in mind when they fake orgasm. They want their partner to think they enjoyed the experience. Or, they may want to avoid making their partner feel inadequate or anxious about performance the next time they have sex.

* Because she’s insecure or afraid: Some heterosexual couples feel that there is a proper sequence for orgasm, with the woman climaxing first. So a woman may fake her orgasm to follow this sequence, even if she feels she will actually reach orgasm with a little more time.

*Because it turns her on: Experts have also found that some women fake orgasm because it makes them more aroused, leading to greater sexual satisfaction.

*Lack of Communication : Many women fake orgasms because of lack of communication with their partner. They may not feel comfortable discussing their sexual needs and desires, so they fake an orgasm to avoid the conversation altogether. This lack of communication can lead to a cycle of unsatisfying sexual experiences, which can further damage the relationship.

My Advice: If speaking about your sexual desires out loud with your partner is uncomfortable, try writing them a letter expressing your wants.

Some women Fake Orgasm in other to Keep a Partner: Evolutionary psychology explains the phenomenon of faking orgasm as a “mate retention strategy,” whereby orgasms are valued by men, and so women in heterosexual relationships will fake their orgasm to satisfy their partner. In doing so, women are hoping to “retain” their partner.

Porn Pressure: Watching porn can give you the impression that women can orgasm multiple times in 15 minutes. But that’s not possible. Not only men, but women also end up believing that they can and must orgasm within that time frame. And if they can’t, they start feeling that there’s something wrong with them. This pressure doesn’t work in anyone’s favour.

*Because she’s embarrassed or self-conscious: Most times because she’s overly embarrassed to tell her partner how to satisfy her sexually or when she’s too conscious about how she looks, her body, and what her partner thinks of her. All this can make her fake orgasm.

I could recall the feeling of the first time I was served breakfast. 💔The feeling brought out the Chinua Achebe and Wole Soyinka in me and what did I do next?. I bought higher education (note books) and started writing poems. That was when I discovered.That what you ask? That i can write poems incredibly well! Yes, you heard me right. Breakfast exposed the Poet in me.🤔😎. I wrote on all the pages of note books I got and even bought more. It was not funny at all.

That was when I knew the lyrics to R&B love/ heartbreak songs ever produced.

I was depressed and at a point suicidal, yes it was that bad.(This was prolly the first time my family will be seeing this yo know)

I was an intern with a Radio Station in Ikoyi at the time.

Because I wanted to cry I will alight at Obalende so as to have ample opportunity and time to cry while walking. I did that for like 3months straight up.

I did not care about who was looking, I would cry and be talking to myself on a major road.

Then when I get to the office, I will go to the toilet clean up and put up the usual cheerful appearance, join them in the studio, pretend all was well, till I get home to cry myself to sleep again.

Then one day, I listened to a particular song. It’s not even a Christian song just a nor( a circular song)This is a song that I had listened to countless times but the meaning never registered before now😲. That song gave me 1001 reasons why the person doesn’t worth all the trouble I’m putting myself through.

I was able to survive that ordeal but it took me years,Yes! you heard me right

Y-E-A-R-S.

Years of asking myself what I did wrong?Years of blaming myself for falling so hard and ignoring so many red flags.

Years of …

Now along the line I realized that, why it took that long was because, I didn’t open up to anybody. I bottled up my feelings even my family did not know what I was going through. I put up a cheerful front for all and sundry but deep down I was hurting seriously. Thank God for music🎵🎶🎶 hmm!

Will I ever fall in love again? of course yes! Will I ever get heartbroken like that ? Nah!Over the years I have learnt the act of accepting dealing with issues.

I have learnt that life comes with its own ups and downs.

Bottom line is na everybody go chop breakfast.Your ability to accept, heal and move on makes you a stronger person. It meant to teach you a lesson or two about life and humans. Because once beaten. 1001 shy!